im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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