dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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