it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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