She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
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I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
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Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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