I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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