His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize