We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
this just has baby written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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