just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
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We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
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I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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