my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize