yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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