what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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