Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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