So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize