how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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