Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
someone owes me an orgasm
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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