whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
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There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
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you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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