They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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