What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
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