yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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