coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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