Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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