Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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