I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
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he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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