i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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