My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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