HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize