I think i sorta joined a cult last night
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize