I just saw a hot homeless man
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize