so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize