I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize