he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Randomize