Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize