i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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