If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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