He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize