Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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