and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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