She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
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That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
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One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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