so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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