i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
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I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
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Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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