I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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