Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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