I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize