Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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