went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
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Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
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I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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