You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
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Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize