U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize