how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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