I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize