Where are you?
In a non slutty way
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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